The Stoic Path to Resilience in Crisis
How we can use the ancient philosophy for modern living
Mind Candy is a newsletter on practical philosophy and human flourishment—aka how to live “the good life.” Each month we tackle a new theme.
This month we’re exploring the theme of resilience.
There is an old adage that goes “The best time to plant a tree was thirty years ago. The next best time is now.” Building a resilient mindset is no different.
Crises arise all the time in our lives. We get into a car crash, a loved one becomes gravely ill, our child is hurt. Being a human means we are subjected to any number of things happening that are not just out of our control, but that require our immediate time and attention in order to get us through it.
Resilience is there to help move us from one side of crisis to the other. It is the bridge between ourselves prior to the event and is the hand that guides us through the tough times until we reach the other side.
Our goal with resilience is to not just learn to master it, but to be able to call upon it at a moment’s notice, regardless of crisis, and be able to flourish in the situation.
The Stoics preached about resilience continually. Throughout all their surviving writings, we can find helpful guidance in how we can tackle the challenges of today with poise and equanimity, facing down adversity and growing from the process.
Don’t wait for crisis to arrive to practice resilience
One of the best ways to build resilience is to practice ahead of time. And one of the best practices is to make yourself uncomfortable.
Seneca recommends setting aside some time each month to do just this. He states “be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress.”
Why?
Because a good majority of the time we fear more in imagination than reality. By practicing being uncomfortable ahead of time, we are prepared for when crisis strikes.
When we enter a crisis, one of the first things we recoil from is the need to stretch outside our comfort zone. We’re often thrown into situations we’re not used to and have the possibility of freezing up.
Practicing being uncomfortable, being pushed to do things outside your comfort zone silences your mind’s desire to say “give up.”
Making yourself uncomfortable and pushing through will help to build your resilience muscles ahead of time.
“If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes.”1
Practice how you perceive the situation
As stated above, when thrown into a crisis, it is very easy to allow our mind and emotions to runaway with stories and scenarios.
“This is the end.”
“There’s nothing I can do.”
“We should’ve known better.”
None of this helps in the throws of crisis. Instead, we need to take a step back and mentally center ourselves.
We do this by ignoring first impressions as Epictetus advised, “make it your habit to tell every jarring thought or impression: “You are just an appearance and in no way the real thing.””2
By grounding ourselves when our thoughts quickly start racing, we’re better able to step back from the situation at hand and survey it from a better angle.
As Marcus Aurelius astutely knew:
“Any assessment we make is subject to alteration - just as we are ourselves. Look closely at them - how impermanent they are, how meaningless.”3
Our perception changes the way we attack a situation. If we allow our minds to run wild, we’ll never have the strength and grit needed to handle the needs of the moment. We can, at any time, “dispense with misperception at will…”4
One way to do this is to hold a “Growth Mindset”, as Carol Dweck has called it. Find comfort in times of discomfort, find enjoyment in stretching.
“This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”
Imagine your role model’s response
Sometimes when we are thrown into chaos, we don’t know what to do and this can cause us to freeze up. But if we’re keen observers of life and history, then we can think about figures we’ve studied or role models we keep top of mind.
Ask yourself, how would this person have acted if they were in my shoes? How would they dig deep and push on? How would they find a solution to the problem at hand?
Marcus Aurelius reminded himself:
“When you need encouragement, think of the qualities the people around you have: this one’s energy, that one’s modesty, another’s generosity, and so on. Nothing is as encouraging as when virtues are visibly embodied in the people around us, when we’re practically showered with them.”5
It also helps to protect us with reassurance we’re not alone. We may be the one handling the situation, and there may be over 2,000 years between you and the model you imagine, but their wisdom and advice reminds you others too have faced chaos, crisis, and calamity, and they too have come out the other side.
It’s reassuring to remember you’re not the only one.
See it as an opportunity for practice
Obstacles will always be placed in our path and nothing is more frustrating than obstacles during a crisis, the countless hurdles that need to be performed in order to make it through.
But this is a part of living. It’s frustrating but they also provide one the ability to practice the art of living and pursuing virtue.
“Just as nature takes every obstacle, every impediment, and works around it - turns it to its purposes, incorporates it into itself - so, too, a rational being can turn each setback into raw material and use it to achieve its goal.”6
We have the chance to practice virtue in times of crisis when handling obstacles. Maybe it is courage to step up to a task, or patience to wait for answers. Every obstacle we encounter provides an opportunity to learn and practice virtue.
And when we do this, we turn those obstacles to our advantage because we grow from them.
Search the tools you have
Held within each and every one of us are tools for dealing with life. They have been earned, directly or indirectly, through experience.
As you encounter a situation, before looking for outside help, we must first turn inward and see what we possess to handle the situation.
“In all circumstances keep in mind to turn in to yourself and ask what resources you have for dealing with these things... By developing these habits, you will not be carried away by your first impressions.”7
Our experiences help guide us. When we’ve encountered something multiple times, we’re not as easily grabbed by the stress of it as though it was a novel situation.
We can learn to leverage our past experiences to tackle the problems of today.
Learn acceptance
When we cannot change, we must learn to accept. This is perhaps one of the hardest lessons but one that is rooted deep in Stoic philosophy.
We control what we can control, but outside of that, we encounter situations wherein we hold no control and the outcome is not what we wanted.
Marcus Aurelius once reminded himself, “We need to practice acceptance. Without disdain. But remembering that our own worth is measured by what we devote our energy to.”8
We can kick and scream. We can say it’s unfair. But that doesn’t change the outcome.
Rather, coming to terms with the results and learning to live with them, turning the time into lessons, going from ‘this isn’t fair’ to ‘okay, now what?’ is key to building a resilient mind.
Have others help provide feedback
One of the best ways to get through tough times is with the help of others. A key area others play a role is motivating us or being there for emotional support.
But they also play a key role in seeing our actions and providing feedback.
We need people to assist us in understanding ourselves. If we’re going down the wrong path or not handling the situation well, then we should listen to our circle for feedback and guidance.
Cicero says “if a person's ears are so closed that he won't even hear the truth from a friend, he is a lost cause.”9
We must learn to listen to feedback as this will help us better attack the problem at hand and help get us to the other side.
No matter what, at some point or another in each of our lives, we will encounter crisis. And when we do, we will need to rely upon resilience to help get us through. It is by overcoming the obstacles of life with grace, equanimity, and resilience that we truly master the art of living and find ourselves flourishing.
Before you go…
If you enjoyed the above article, you may be interested in the below to continue your exploration:
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Until next time,
D.A. DiGerolamo
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Moral Letters, Letter 18
Enchiridion I
Meditations 5.10
Meditations 12.22
Meditations 6.48
Meditations 8.35
Enchiridion 10
Meditations 7.3
How to be a Friend