The Redefined Discipline
Embracing a personalized approach to self-management
This Week at a Glance:
This week we look into how there is no one-size-fits-all for self-discipline and how the discipline we create helps determine the destination of our lives.
By the time you finish this meditation, you’ll learn:
🍭 The importance of balance within self-discipline;
🍬 Understand how to find the amount of discipline necessary; and
🍫 How to have an adaptable discipline routine for future growth.
Let’s dive in.
In our self-help driven culture of the day, we see plastered everywhere overstimulated messages about self-control. There are fitness gurus online discussing how if you don’t commit to the strictest diet, you won’t reach your goals. Or investment influencers who talk about having the self-discipline to not buy Starbucks for a day so as to save for financial freedom instead.
Let’s not kid ourselves: self-discipline is essential for living a good life. It helps us regulate, prioritize, and pursue life’s goals in an appropriate manner. Without discipline, we would have no control over our fate as we would not be able to appropriately direct our actions, being pulled this way and that by our ever changing passions.
But at the same time, self-discipline need not be taken to the extreme. In fact, when done so, for the majority of people, it often backfires and leads to relapses of over-indulgence.
This is the path to failed pursuits.
So, an appropriate chord must be struck between the hardcore self-discipliner and the average Joe looking to build their own way to a better life.
Today we’re going to look at three tactics to building that discipline:
Level set what discipline is for yourself
Take appropriate action
Find what works best for you
By following the path of these three pillars, anyone can build a disciplined mind that will keep them on the path to the good life.
Defining Your Personal Self-Discipline
As discussed above, not all discipline is built the same for each individual nor is it the same for the application of discipline.
If you watch David Goggins online or read his books, Can’t Hurt Me and Never Finished, his self-discipline may look a whole lot different than the self-discipline you want or need in your life.
The first step in determining the level of discipline is to analyze your needs. Following the fitness example, are you looking to get in shape for aesthetic purposes or are you trying to get in shape because your doctor has told you your life is on the line if you don’t make a drastic change?
By properly understanding the type of discipline you need, you will be better equipped to create and find a model for the discipline you want to pursue.
This is a fluid process. You want to start with a simplified version of discipline and as time goes on, build up your disciplined muscle and replace your models that you are attempting to emulate.
Remember, self-discipline is meant to free you, not act like chains on your will. It is not an infinite resource—it is finite and can very quickly wear out (ever notice how strong your will power is in the morning but by night it is depleted?)
Choosing the appropriate level of discipline to start, and adjusting from there, is key to ensuring there is no backsliding.
The Art of Action and Inaction
Every day we are met with endless amounts of choices that we must make. Where we put our attention and how we make our decisions are critical.
But this does not mean action is required. On the contrary, as the existentialist philosopher Simone de Beauvoir once wrote1:
"Immobile or in action, we always weigh upon the earth. Every refusal is a choice, every silence has a voice. Our very passivity is willed; in order to not choose, we still must choose not to choose. It is impossible to escape."
Not choosing is an act of choice within itself.
We hold the power over our lives to determine when and to what degree we will act. Discipline is about helping to keep us aligned on our priorities.
By choosing when and where to act, we are exerting our will to be maximized for our goals. The power of discipline narrows your focus and at the same time, gives appropriate direction.
By not acting, we’re freeing ourselves up to act when we need to, and this means maximizing our decision-making to get the best result.
Determine What’s Best for You
Everyone is different. David Goggins’ hardcore disciplined workout routine works for him, but that may not work for the single mother of three looking to get in shape.
Understanding yourself and your needs is critical to making actionable goals for the type of discipline you want in your life.
We’re only as good as the disciplined decisions we make. As Chip and Dan Heath wrote2:
“When people exhaust their self-control, what they're exhausting are the mental muscles needed to think creatively, to focus, to inhibit their impulses, and to persist in the face of frustration or failure.”
If we’re modeling our desire for discipline on individuals whose goals are completely outlandish to our own, we’re only going to be met with frustration and disappointment when we can’t live up to the level of discipline they require.
We must pave our own path to discipline. We must set realistic goals for ourselves. Our success and pursuit of the good life depend on it. Or as Ryan Holiday summarized so well3:
“Self-discipline is not just our destiny, it is our obligation.”
Life is a game of trial and error. You won’t always get it right the first go around but the point is to figure out what works best for you.
By following these three steps, you will be better aligned to properly build your discipline muscles to what you need them to be, preventing backsliding on goals, and adjusting appropriately as you pave the path of the good life for yourself.
3-Bullet Summary:
Self-Discipline is meant to be freeing, not limiting, and thus should be flexible versus a one-size-fits-all model.
Discipline is a muscle that needs to be strengthened in order to avoid backsliding.
Self-Control is a finite resource that needs to be adjusted to the situation for the most effective results.
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Until next week,
D.A. DiGerolamo
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How to be Authentic, Skye Cleary
Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard, Chip and Dan Heath
Discipline is Destiny, Ryan Holiday