Want to be Happy? Check Your Judgments
How the Stoics teach us about how to be happy (hint: perception + judgment)
How the Stoics teach us about how to be happy (hint: perception + judgment)
Socrates is claimed to have once stated, “The unexamined life is not worth living for a human being.” It is one of his most famous and endearing quotes. Yet few of us truly understand the meaning behind it.
We usually go about our days and just experience life. Our lives are hectic and busy, we want things immediately, we don’t want to have to think about them, and we do not want to try to understand them better. We want quick and easy, another block or piece to build out quick ‘knowledge.’ A perfect example of this is with fake news which is said to be shared 6 times faster on social media than regular news.
How many of us stop and question what it is that we’re reading? The answer is not often if it is something that is controversial and we’re invested in, such as politics.
But life is seldom as easy as reading something and having concrete knowledge and understanding of it. And this kind of knowledge you cannot necessarily even call knowledge because it is false, or partially fabricated. Even in Ancient Greece, people suffered from these dilemmas (not in terms of technology but in trying to determine the truth). Because truth is built on facts, not on emotion, it is imperative for one to figure out the truth. But in order to do so, we must strip away the emotions and drill down into first principles. Socrates knew this which is why he did not mind stating:
“Anyone who holds a true opinion without understanding is like a blind man on the right road.”
The Stoics drew much of their inspiration from Socrates. Zeno of Citium, the founder of Stoicism, is said to have discovered Socrates (and a broader love and pursuit of philosophy) via Xenophon’s Memorabilia after he wrecked his ship off the coast of Athens.
It is worth noting that the philosophy of Stoicism is rooted in our perceptions and the judgments we make. Unlike popular belief built around the word stoic, it is not about the suppression of emotions. Rather, as Nicholas Taleb has stated:
“Stoicism is about the domestication of emotions, not their elimination.”
Because the philosophy is so heavily devoted to seeking wisdom by way of the judgments we place on externals, it is incredibly important that we understand the truth of the externals that lie before us. Breaking these down into their first principles is therefore imperative into understanding the events that occur. Or as Marcus Aurelius once put it:
“Always to define whatever it is we perceive — to trace its outline — so we can see what it really is: its substance. Stripped bare. As a whole. Unmodified.”
So how do we strip bare those things and see the stimuli for the truth it is?
Be Open in Your Understanding of Events
Cicero once wrote, “If a person’s ears are so closed that he won’t even hear the truth from a friend, he is a lost cause.”
Whether wisdom comes from a friend, or from a stranger, you cannot receive the information if your ears are closed. This is why Zeno once wrote, “We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.”
Whether or not you agree with what is being said can be determined afterward, but in the moment, it is best to listen to someone’s logic and see the perspective they hold.
Know Yourself
“Know thyself,” Socrates famous line goes.
We spend much of our youth following in the footsteps of others. It really isn’t until we get to college and start to think for ourselves that we truly begin to learn more about ourselves. Therefore, knowing ourselves is critical to understanding the world around us. Through learning who we are, we begin to create our character. And as Heraclitus once wrote, “Character is fate.”
Epictetus tells us in book one of his Discourses:
“To determine what is reasonable or unreasonable, not only do we have to form a judgment about the value of external things, but we also have to judge how they stand in relation to our own specific character.”
In other words, externals hold different value-judgments for each of us and are determined by who we are. Therefore, we must know who we are so that we can better understand the values we are placing on external things.
It’s All About the Value-Judgments
If you are unhappy with circumstances, it is because of the judgments you are placing on those circumstances. Hence why Epictetus preached to his students, “It is not things themselves that trouble people, but their opinions about things.”
In other words, it is our own opinions about things, whether they are good or bad, that truly causes us suffering.
The Stoics categorized externals into three categories:
Good: Something that benefits the self.
Bad: Something which doesn’t benefit the self.
Indifferent: It could be good or bad but is dependent upon other things.
Donald Robertson, author of How to Think Like a Roman Emperor, described this as:
“…external things are not good or bad in the strongest sense. They don’t make our souls better or worse, or affect our fulfilment (eudaimonia) in life. What matters ultimately is the use we make of them, good or bad, virtuous or vicious.”
Remember, You’re the One Making the Judgment
Things are not naturally good or bad. It is you who forms this judgment and places it on external things. This is why to some materialistic items means the world and to others they could care less.
We make up the judgment. We apply it to the stimuli. We decide whether or not it is harmful to us. As Marcus Aurelius said, “Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.”
Ultimately, it is not likely any of us will have the wisdom of Socrates. And that’s okay, we have his wisdom to help guide us. His most famous saying that knowing nothing except ignorance of the knowledge he possessed helps to guide each and every one of us. It reminds us of the need to question our assumptions, to examine the value-judgments we place on externals, and to know our thought process. From Socrates, if nothing else, we can take the understanding to dig deeper, that everything on earth that we see has an underlying principle guiding it, and that there is something that governs everything.
Whether it’s good or bad, that’s up to the individual to decide.
3 Key Takeaways from this Meditation:
1. Remember, what you’re experiencing is just an impression. Check the value-judgments you are applying to the experience. If you’re unhappy, it may be because of the value you are placing on something you want or don’t have. Double-check and see if it is even within your control to possess.
2. It takes a lifetime to know oneself. Start now by questioning your assumptions. Break items down into first principles and determine what they truly are.
3. Be open to learning new things. Wisdom can come in the form of a book, a podcast, a quote, a friend, or even a fortune cookie. But if you are not open to receiving wisdom, it will pass you by. Always keep an open mind and discard what you do not need only after proper time and reflection.
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