The Infinite Game of Relations, Empathy’s Middle Ground, & Altruistic Yearnings
Wednesday Wisdoms for October 2, 2024
Welcome to Wednesday Wisdom, our 3x3 Newsletter where I distill worldly advice for better living with 3 quotes, 3 observations, and 3 questions.
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Infinite Game of Relations
🤨 Quote
“When we play with a finite mindset in an infinite game, the odds increase that we will find ourselves in a quagmire, racing through the will and resources we need to keep playing.”
Simon Sinek
Source: The Infinite Game
Observation 🧐
What would you do to get ahead? To get a promotion? To win a competition? To feel victorious?
It’s a question we all must ask ourselves at some point because these are situations we will encounter over and over again—matching our desires to our morals.
When others are involved, how will we respond?
If we can get a promotion but it means stabbing a fellow co-worker in the back, is it acceptable? Do the ends justify the means?
What about working so much you see your colleagues more than your own family. Is there a dollar value in exchange for those relations?
Our relations to others is an infinite game, one that has no end. Yet society often places finite mindsets on these infinite games.
We will always be living a life filled with other people and that means coming to terms with how we will approach critical questions in relation to our fellow human beings.
The most important thing we must determine within ourselves is how important the relations we have are and what about them we are willing to sacrifice.
🤔 Question
What relations are you willing to tarnish to get what you want? Do the ends justify the means?
Empathy’s Middle Ground
🤨 Quote
“Altruism, however, is not necessarily a sustainable lifestyle 24/7. If you focus only on others, there is a risk that you neglect your own needs.“
Simon Baron-Cohen
Source: The Science of Evil
Observation 🧐
At what point do our good intentions for others outweigh the benefits? Where do we draw the line?
These are questions we face every day. A friend asks for a favor that you’re more than happy to oblige but what about when the requests never stop from the individual? What about when they don’t ever return the favor?
Conversely, looking out only for yourself doesn’t work. One becomes consumed with the self and “getting mine”, casting aside any thought or notion for another’s well-being.
Baron-Cohen has found in his research that people tend to hold a moderate level of empathy—too little and the individual finds themselves socially outcast, too much and they’re taken advantage of.
“Striking the balance at majority levels of empathy may be an evolved adaption that confers on the individual the benefits of empathy without its disadvantages.”
So the task we all must face then is finding the middle ground that works best for us. And this may change with time, situation, and the people we deal with.
But again, it’s about finding the overall best approach for the life we want to live.
🤔 Question
How do you simultaneously hold a boundary while also being willing to help others in need?
Beneath the paywall this week we explore the wisdom of David Brooks. Click below to support and get access.