The Emotional Dilemma
Understanding the use of the Rider and the Elephant
Emotions are the foundation of human nature within us. It is through emotions that we survived for thousands of years. As humans first navigated the Sahara, they were forced to rely upon their emotions and quick instincts to survive --
—the sound of movement in the brush
—the the quick spike of adrenaline and the heart racing
—the hairs sticking up on the back of the neck and fear raising through the system
This very well could be the difference between life and death.
“Emotions” as Susan David states, “from blinding rage to wide-eyed love, are the body's immediate physical responses to important signals from the outside world.”
But the world we live in today is not what evolution provided for. Our world is vastly different from that of our ancestors. And while culture changes rapidly, it is evolution that has biologically wired our bodies, and in turn, our emotions. We are therefore built by both culture and biology and it is up to us to figure out how to work with each.
In the world we live in today, we need to be able to understand our emotions and quickly regulate them. This is what David refers to as “emotional agility”, the “process that allows you to be in the moment, changing or maintaining your behaviors to live in ways that align with your intentions and values. The process isn't about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts. It's about holding those emotions and thoughts loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to make big things happen in your life.”
Stoicism is not a philosophy of holding a stiff upper lip as it is often portrayed as, and it is also not a philosophy devoted to some over the top form of manliness. It is a philosophy built around the understanding that we all have emotions, but we also have reason, or logos, which is even more powerful.
Just because an emotion arises within us doesn’t mean that emotion is true. This idea that just because one feels an emotion means it must be true is known as emotional reasoning in cognitive-behavioral therapy, and it is a common flaw that many of us have. Because we relied upon our emotions to drive us for so long, instinctively we feel that if an emotion arises, it is because something triggered it and we therefore must accept that emotion.
But this completely ignores our ability to properly use our brain and reason, to think through and properly process the emotion, why it arose in the first place, and determine if it was even right for it to be triggered.
“Your ability to control your thoughts - treat it with respect,” Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself in Meditations. “It's all that protects your mind from false perceptions - false to your nature and that of all rational beings. It's what makes thoughtfulness possible, and affection for other people, and submission to the divine.”
If we cannot use our brains to think through and process an emotion and why it was triggered, then we are at the complete mercy of that emotion, we are helpless to when an emotion arises and why, which ultimately means we lack control. And when we allow this to happen, when we allow emotions to fully control us, then we can no longer tell what is and is not worth having an emotion triggered for. Ultimately, if we cannot reason why an emotion was triggered, then we will allow everything to set off our emotions. Just because we feel something doesn’t mean it is something. Without properly regulating our emotions, we become our emotions.
The psychologist Jonathan Haidt articulates the system of reason versus emotion with the metaphor of the elephant (emotion) and the rider (reason). The psychologist siblings, Chip and Dan Heath, summarize Haidt’s idea of the rider and the elephant in their book Switch, writing:
“Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader. But the Rider’s control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose. He’s completely overmatched."
The emotion needs to be dictated by the rider, but beneath the rider at all times is a massive beast. The rider helps us to determine whether something is correct, whether our emotion is correct. Without the rider, we’re pure emotion, pulled in millions of directions on a whim. We need the rider to help us decide if something is worth caring about. When an emotion gets out of line, we need the rider to put it back in place.
The rider is able to properly understand and articulate what the elephant is doing, why the elephant is doing what it is, and helps to align it so that our value judgments are in line to properly interpret the world.
Emotions are a natural part of our human nature. And they have a very important role within our daily lives. But it is reason that helps to align and guide those emotions. It is through the use of the rider that the elephant is tamed and put back in line.
Thank you again for reading and I hope you found this useful. Please feel free to heart, comment, or ask questions about this post. Suggestions are always appreciated and considered.
Until next week,
D.A. DiGerolamo