The Abstraction of Death, Narcissism, & Existential Value
Wednesday Wisdoms for October 9, 2024
Welcome to Wednesday Wisdom, our 3x3 Newsletter where I distill worldly advice for better living with 3 quotes, 3 observations, and 3 questions.
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The Abstraction of Death
🤨 Quote
“Out of fear, we convert death into an abstraction, a thought we can entertain now and then or repress. But life is not a thought; it is flesh-and-blood reality, something we feel from within. There is no such thing as life without death.”
Robert Greene
Source: The Laws of Human Nature
Observation 🧐
The question of our existence is a deep one, yet we seldom provide it the time and attention it deserves.
There are several reasons for this, one being the pain of life.
But the second is that we cannot imagine our own lives ending.
When we think of life and death, we know the abstract notion, and we see it happen to friends and loved ones, yet inherently for a portion of us, we don’t believe it will happen to us, at least not anytime soon.
But when we devote time to reflect upon our existence, by providing our mind the ability to think about death, we begin to not only become more aware of it, but we begin to better design our lives around it.
It is from this reflection that we begin our dance with death, getting ever closer to it yet learning to maintain equanimity to it.
This is a freeing experience. The abstract becomes more concrete. The fear we held becomes normalized.
“Those who have learned how to die have unlearned how to be slaves,” wrote the Stoic philosopher Seneca.
And it is through this dance that we shape our activities, our mindset, and our values. When we keep death ever present, we not only learn to better live with it, we begin to live a much fuller and rewarding life.
🤔 Question
If you were to imagine your final day, what would it look like? Who would you want there? What would you want your final breath to look like?
Narcissism
🤨 Quote
“Narcissism is an existential response: an escape from facing up to the task of creating our own worth and values. Instead of being echoes of others- subordinating themselves to lovers or spouses, for example—narcissists subordinate themselves to an ideal image of themselves.”
Skye Cleary
Source: How to be Authentic
Observation 🧐
The word narcissism is thrown about often these days. It comes about through the pain and discomfort forced upon people who are in direct contact with individuals who display narcissistic traits—extreme self-focus, entitlement, arrogance and a lack of empathy toward others.
But how often do any of us stop to ask the deeper questions of why the individual acts the way they do?
Asking these questions does not grant the individual a pass for their actions, rather, it provides us the opportunity to learn more about human existence and how certain personalities are formed.
How often have we taken a step back and thought about why the person acted the way they did? Did we ever consider it was a complete disbandment of being like others?
Sometimes we must take a step back in order to better understand the world around us. Sometimes that distance provides our emotional selves the right amount of space so that we can properly evaluate the scenario just a little more clearly.
🤔 Question
If you have a narcissist in your life, have you ever stopped to question why they act the way they do or do you outright reject them and their tendencies? What would happen if you looked deeper?
Beneath the paywall this week we explore the wisdom of Kieran Setiya. Click below to support and get access.