Teaching, Judgment, & Anger
Wednesday Wisdoms for June 18, 2025
Mind Candy is a newsletter on practical philosophy and human flourishment—aka how to live “the good life.” Each month we tackle a new theme.
This month we’re exploring the theme of Morality.
Welcome to Wednesday Wisdom, our 3x3 Newsletter where I distill worldly advice for better living with 3 quotes, 3 observations, and 3 questions.
Teaching
🤨 Quote
“When an injury is at issue, the fact that people did not know what they were doing is the very thing that exculpates them.”
Seneca
Source: On Benefits
Observation 🧐
Accepting someone’s mistake is far harder than pointing them out with blame.
When we feel slighted, when we feel like the mistake should not have been made because it was simple, or they didn’t follow instructions, or it is something we think the individual should have known, we get frustrated and want to lash out.
Yet, if we take a step back and look at the totality of our life, if we can take a 30,000 foot view, we realize what is important—it’s not that a mistake was made to begin with, but that we have an opportunity to teach right from wrong.
By doing so, we not only strengthen the relationship, we provide the individual an opportunity for growth.
As Seneca says, we need to review the intention behind the action, this is what separates friend from enemy.
🤔 Question
If intentionality matters when someone makes a mistake, how do you handle them with grace rather than frustration if the mistake was made on accident?
Judgment
🤨 Quote
“Keep in mind that what injures you is not people who are rude or aggressive but your opinion that they are injuring you. So whenever someone provokes you, be aware that the provocation really comes from your own judgment. Start, then, by trying not to get carried away by the impression. Once you pause and give yourself time, you will more easily control yourself.”
Epictetus
Source: How to be Free, XX
Observation 🧐
Someone may have harmed you.
They may have done something you don’t agree with.
But have you really been harmed? Or have you become an accomplice in their actions by giving ascent to them?
Our judgments are stories we tell ourselves about the events we experience in life. But it doesn’t make those judgments true. In fact, if we were to perform an accounting of our own judgments, we’d see how many are tied to our emotions rather than logic.
It’s easy to feel slighted, it’s easy to want to blame the other person. And perhaps it is right to do so in certain situations. But we cannot excuse ourselves from playing a role in the provocation.
As Seneca advised, “[The wise] do not take everything at its worst or look for someone to blame; they rather attribute people's mistakes to misfortune. They do not criticize words and looks unfairly but mitigate whatever happens by interpreting it kindly.”
We control the judgments we make of events and whether or not they hold weight over our lives.
🤔 Question
Reflect upon a judgment made today. Was it positive or negative? What drove your decision-making for that judgment to begin with?
Beneath the paywall this week we explore the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius. Click below to support and get access.