Sweet Bites
March 22, 2024
Hi all,
Welcome to another edition of Sweet Bites, Mind Candy’s bite-sized newsletter with thought-provoking finds to send you into the weekend with.
This week we explored the idea of tragic optimism and hope during hard times (links below).
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Any of the below bites resonate? Hit the reply button and let me know.
🦉 Wisdom
“We don't just think ourselves exceptional. We predict our lives will always go well-better than before, even. We are programmed, in a sense, to think a bit too positively about how things will turn out-even the things we have no actual control over. It's a tendency known as the positivity bias or optimistic bias, and it is a version of our belief in our own exceptionalism, but one that centers on our life outcomes: how we'll fare, how things will go for us, the extent to which we control our environment and the events that transpire therein. Even pessimists experience it; it's optimism not about the world or people in general, but about yourself. The most sour skeptic still thinks he will come out on top.”
Maria Konnikova
Source: The Confidence Game
📰 Article
How hope can keep you healthier and happier by Everett Worthington
“Hope is the willpower to change and the way-power to bring about that change.”
In this article, Worthington breaks down hope: what it is, how to build it, and how to get unstuck during difficult times.
📖 Book Recommendation
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by Martin Seligman
Martin Seligman is the pioneering psychologist behind Positive Psychology, a new and rapidly growing area within the field of psychology.
In his book Flourish, he explores what he calls PERMA, the “permanent building blocks for a life of profound fulfillment.” (Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.)
“Both positive and negative ways of thinking are important in the right situation, but all too often schools emphasize critical thinking and following orders rather than creative thinking and learning new stuff. The result is that children rank the appeal of going to school just slightly above going to the dentist. In the modern world, I believe we have finally arrived at an era in which more creative thinking, less rote following of orders—and yes, even more enjoyment—will succeed better.”
💡 Concept
Learned Optimism
Following the idea of some of Martin Seligman’s work, he has coined the term “learned optimism” to represent our ability to change our attitudes toward life.
According to Seligman, if we are to turn inward and listen to the self-walk we have with ourselves, we can change our perspectives on life. Too often we allow negative self-talk to drive the conversation: “I am not good enough,” “That was stupid of me,” “I should be better.”
By reviewing our inner monologues and the behaviors and emotions that flow from them, we can stop them, and instead, work to rewrite the message we’re articulating to ourselves.
“Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the optimist as on the pessimist, but the optimist weathers them better.”
Learned Optimism, like Viktor Frankl’s Tragic Optimism, is not about having rose-colored glasses on, rather, it is about accepting the reality before us but still find some positive aspects to it that we can hold onto and build hope from.
🤯 A Review of Viktor Frankl’s Philosophy
🛠️ Tactic
Below are some tactics that can be applied to move from a pessimistic outlook to a more optimistic one, regardless of the situation encountered.
Self-talk
Self-talk is critical to our mental health and our perspective on the world. Ensure when talking to yourself, it is not in a degrading/self-loathing way but one that can lift you up and keep a more positive outlook on life. Sometimes, even the smallest bit of positivity can go a long way.
Reflection
Think about the times that you were happiest. How did they come about? What steps can you take to move back in that direction? By understanding our past, we’re better able to have a picture of what we liked. From there, we can take action to try and bring forth that same feeling and create our lives around a more positive view.
Socratic Dialogue
When thinking through a situation, it is useful to hold multiple perspectives. But this isn’t always possible if you are working on a solitary task. Think about turning your situation into a dialogue between two or more characters with each character taking a different perspective on the situation you are working through. By taking multiple positions in a dialogue format, you are able to get further to the heart of an issue and see it from multiple perspectives.
🏋🏻 Exercise
Pick a situation that did not go as you planned. This can/should be something you care deeply about. It does not matter why the situation did not work out, what matters is that what was desired was not achieved.
Now perform a thought experiment: If this event were to happen again, would the result be the same of different?
What is your emotional reaction to the scenario? Do you look upon it with optimism or more with pessimism?
There is a theory proposed by Martin Seligman that our attachment to future expectations is rooted in past experiences.
“If an individual believes that their past failures stem from innate and unchanging character flaws, for example, they are more likely to hold a pessimistic outlook for the future. In contrast, an individual who attributes a past failure to bad luck is more likely to hold an optimistic outlook for the future.” (Source)
Rereview your thought experiment now. If you held a pessimistic view, was it because you saw a flaw within yourself that would ultimately hold you back from having the situation succeed?
By reviewing failed experiences and trying to root out the cause for their failure, we can begin to differentiate whether we are the cause of it or not. From there, we can take appropriate steps to fix the issue. Over time, as we make progress to cease the issue, we will naturally begin to take on a more optimistic approach to issues we encounter.
📚 This Week’s Newsletters
Thanks for reading. Did any of these bites resonate with you? If so, hit reply and let me know.
This week we dove into the topic of tragic optimism, part of our March series theme on suffering.
Here’s this week’s Monday Meditation and Wednesday Wisdom for easy reference.
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Until next week,
D.A. DiGerolamo
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