Social Creatures, Friendship, & Rethinking
Wednesday Wisdoms for December 4, 2024
Welcome to Wednesday Wisdom, our 3x3 Newsletter where I distill worldly advice for better living with 3 quotes, 3 observations, and 3 questions.
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Social Creatures
🤨 Quote
“Very little that is positive is solitary. When was the last time you laughed uproariously? The last time you felt indescribable joy? The last time you sensed profound meaning and purpose? The last time you felt enormously proud of an accomplishment? Even without knowing the particulars of these high points of your life, I know their form: all of them took place around other people.”
Martin Seligman
Source: Flourish
Observation 🧐
There’s a story that permeates the cultural zeitgeist that the best individuals or the most successful are fully self-reliant, are self-made, or are able to do whatever they want.
These narratives rise to the surface of our times because they often represent the most successful in the world, but they also are relatively limited to less than 1% of the population.
The fact of the matter is, no one is self-made and nothing is accomplished in a vacuum.
Now think of some of your greatest experiences in life, they will invariably be with other people.
“Other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up,” writes Seligman.
Having people around you to build you up when you’re down, for you to be a shoulder for someone to lean on, to have a two-way bandwidth of trust in times of need or even just to catch up, these are the basics of relationship building and we all need them.
We’re social creatures and by design we need other people in our lives. We flourish when we have them because we inevitably entwine our lives with theirs in a constant give and take of emotion and life experiences. Ultimately, this provides us happiness when we can share with others.
🤔 Question
Who is someone you’ve been meaning to check-in on? Reach out today and remind them you’re around and you’re thinking about them.
Friendship
🤨 Quote
“You should place friendship above all other human concerns. For nothing else is in such harmony with nature, nor is anything else so helpful to us in both good times and bad. One thing I believe you must know above all is that friendship is not possible except between good people.”
Cicero
Source: How to be a Friend
Observation 🧐
Cicero knew that humans were social creatures. It is innate to every fiber of our being.
But with friendship comes some basic virtuous traits: trust, reliability, commitment and dedication.
In order to be a friend to someone, we need to be a good human. If we’re not, and we’re willing to hurt those who are not within our circle, it is only a matter of time before our two personalities collide—we will eventually sacrifice our own friendships for our own desires.
In order to be a good friend, we need to first be a good individual. And being a good individual starts with us.
One of the keys to most of the ancient philosophies was the pursuit of virtue, living by a strict code of doing our best, both to and for ourselves as well as others.
People are our occupation, as Marcus Aurelius writes, not because they are good to us, but because it is our virtuous duty to bear them, good and bad, and try to convert enemy to friend.
When we are good, we set an example of our expectations of what good should be. And in turn, this helps convert others by way of example.
🤔 Question
What is one way you’ve turned foe to friend in your life?
Beneath the paywall this week we explore the wisdom of Adam Grant. Click below to support and get access.