Simple Stoic Advice
Opinions
Opinions
The beautiful thing about Stoic philosophy is the advice contained within it is just as applicable today as it was when it was first written all those many years ago. We can learn a great deal from interpreting the advice provided and using it to our advantage as we go throughout our own lives.
Today’s quote comes to us courtesy of Epictetus, Enchiridion, entry 16:
Quote
“When you see someone weeping in sorrow, either because a child has gone on a journey, or because he has lost his property, beware that you be not carried away by the impression that the man is in the midst of external ills, but straightway keep before you this thought: “It is not what has happened that distresses this man (for it does not distress another), but his judgement about it.” Do not, however, hesitate to sympathize with him so far as words go, and, if occasion offers, even to groan with him; but be careful not to groan also in the centre of your being.”
Advice
Value-Judgments are one of the main cornerstones of Stoic philosophy. Epictetus himself was one of the key teachers on showing that the majority of our pain in life did not come from the event itself, rather, it came from the judgments we made and placed upon the event. We are the ones who determine whether an event is good or bad but the Stoics did not do this. The sole good is virtue and bad is vice. Everything else is indifferent.
We can be compassionate to others without allowing ourselves to be carried away in their judgments and emotions. Here, he lists both. As he states, we can care for someone and see and be compassionate for their suffering. But they may suffer due to their inability to know the difference between good, bad, and indifferent.
Unfortunately, too often, we become compassionate for others and allow that individual’s emotions to become our own emotions, just as we allow their opinions of a situation to imprint themselves upon us.
Robert Greene summarizes this same notion in the 48 Laws of Power, writing:
“You can die from someone else’s misery — emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you.”
Epictetus cautions his students, and in turn us, to avoid this. We as humans are naturally compassionate creatures, we care about one another and should. But we cannot allow other people’s opinions to become our opinions, we cannot allow other people’s miscategorizations to become our own.
As Marcus Aurelius says in Meditations:
“Convince them not to. If you can. And if not, remember: the capacity for patience was given to us for a reason.”
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