Simple Stoic Advice
Delay Punishment
On Anger
Delay Punishment
The beautiful thing about Stoic philosophy is the advice contained within it is just as applicable today as it was when it was first written all those many years ago. We can learn a great deal from interpreting the advice provided and using it to our advantage as we go throughout our own lives.
Today’s quote comes to us courtesy of Seneca from his essay On Anger under the recent translation title How to Keep Your Cool:
Quote
“A punishment that’s delayed can still be imposed, but once imposed, it can’t be withdrawn.”
Advice
Seneca viewed anger as being one of the most destructive of the emotions specifically due to its volatile nature. When anger grabs hold of an individual, there usually is nothing that one can do to stop the anger, rather, it must run its course before the individual can return to normal.
This can obviously become problematic as we do not always have time to wait for the anger to subside; our lives are busy and filled with tasks that need to be performed, waiting for anger to subside is not usually an option.
Seneca therefore recommends we do not allow ourselves to become angry to begin with. This is also easier said than done, but he uses the example above to illustrate an important point:
The punishment to inflict upon someone can be delayed, there is no immediate need to lash out. However, if one does lash out in anger, it is important to note that you cannot take back what comes out.
This again becomes problematic because once something is said or done, it is out there and you cannot recall it.
This is why Marcus Aurelius preps himself in Meditations when he writes:
“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own — not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.”
By anticipating future problems, future conflicts, future events that may arise that can bring about anger, we are better able to mentally prepare for it. This allows us to be comfortable with the anger when it arrives and address it, hopefully, in a more practical way. We are better equipped to withhold punishment upfront and apply later, rather than lashing out in the moment and later regretting it.
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