Silencing Our Inner Voices
Finding the time and place for our inner dialogues
We all have that inner critic, that voice in our head that whispers things into our ears and reminds us of the action we just took. It seeks to stroke our ego when we do good and put us further into disappointment when we fail.
The voice we’re hearing is built entirely by us. It is our greatest fears or our greatest hopes come alive. It is the expectations of society rolled into a single voice.
But when and how we choose to listen to that voice is critical to building proper mental stamina for the world we are forced to interact with every day.
“Virtue alone is elevated and lofty. Nothing is great unless it's also at peace,” Seneca once wrote to his brother. One cannot find peace from within if they cannot silence that inner voice. It does not matter if the voice is congratulating or criticizing. If one cannot silence that voice, they cannot be at peace in the moment.
Our brain forms patterns based upon repetition. The inner voice is formed over thousands if not millions of repeated conversations with the self. To silence it, we must create new patterns. These new patterns create new paths for our brain to go down when we encounter a situation.
One of the best ways to form new patterns is to mentally say to one’s self “Not Useful” when the voice arises.
The inner critic loves to point out what was done incorrectly. It tells us we’ve failed, that we could’ve done better, that we’ll never be great.
“Not useful.”
The praiser loves to stroke our egos when we do good and tells us we can accomplish even more, that we control every aspect of our destiny and from here on out our greatest desires will be achieved.
“Not useful.”
The shamer likes to make us feel inadequate, less than what we are and likes to compare us to others.
“Not useful.”
None of these inner voices are useful because they remove us from the moment and they do not aid in building a practical path back to the moment. These are all inner monologues that love to play off the moment we’re in by removing us from the moment and projecting us into realms that do not exist.
This does not mean we should not celebrate when we do good or review our actions and critique what could have gone better. There is a time and place for each of those. But by reminding that inner voice that they are not useful in the moment of action, that they will get their due time, it brings us back to the present, back to all we have. And it is in this that we build a deeper connection to the actions we’re taking.
Leave the critiquing and congratulating for the daily reflection, that’s what the journaling is there for. But when we’re in the moment, when we’re embracing the present, the voice is not needed and can be silenced.
All we have is the current moment. We must therefore work to focus on that moment and that moment only. It is from this that we can find peace, that we can find virtue in our actions, that we can actually be present.
As Marcus Aurelius succinctly put it:
“Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you'll have more time, and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, "Is this necessary?"
But we need to eliminate unnecessary assumptions as well. To eliminate the unnecessary actions that follow.”
Thank you again for reading and I hope you found this useful. Please feel free to heart, comment, or ask questions about this post. Suggestions are always appreciated and considered.
Until next week,
D.A. DiGerolamo