Grabbing Fate by the Horns
The Stoics on Fate and how we can grow
The Stoics on Fate and how we can grow
The Stoic tenet known as Discipline of Desire is the virtue of living in accordance with Nature and our part within the whole of the universe. It encompasses aspects of the philosophy like physics, theology, and cosmology. The Discipline of Desire is about understanding our place within Nature and living in accordance with it. Marcus Aurelius sums up Discipline of Desire in Meditations, stating:
“Everything suits me that suits your designs, O my universe. Nothing is too early or too late for me that is in your own good time. All is fruit for me that your seasons bring, O nature. All proceeds from you, all subsists in you, and to you all things return.”
Built from this is one’s understanding and acceptance of fate. Due to the Stoic view of one “living in accord with Nature” and the understanding that we are a small part of a much greater whole, the Stoics held the viewpoint that they did not control fate. While they may not have direct control over fate, they did feel that they themselves had the ability to influence fate, even if slightly. The Dichotomy of Control, which separates things within our control from those outside of our control, is an expansion from Discipline of Desire. As Epictetus states in The Enchiridion:
“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.”
While many would assume that the concept of fate is included within “our control”, it is in fact not because the Stoics understood we do not have full control over our lives. We cannot properly dictate every aspect of our lives, regardless of how hard we try. Therefore, the Stoics categorized fate as outside of our control.
The acceptance of one’s fate is reiterated several times throughout the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius as he confronts and journals about the dilemma he is facing. As he writes:
“Reflect often how all the life of today is a repetition of the past; and observe that it also presages what is to come.”
Marcus is reflecting upon the fact that time marches on and history tends to repeat itself as we go throughout our lives. But from this he is also acknowledging that he will one day meet the future, whatever it may be, and that he has little control over it. Several places throughout the Meditations, Marcus reminds himself to accept what life has presented and to stop fighting against fate. He does this because he knows he has no control over events outside of himself, including events he is associated with. He only controls his own actions and mindset. Outside of this, he has no control over what the world will throw at him.
Let’s look at an exemplary example of one accepting their fate.
Acceptance of Fate in Action
During World War II, Nazi Germany had setup concentration camps throughout Europe and had funneled thousands of Jewish citizens into these camps.
Men, women, and children were all ripped from their homes and forced into concentration camps where their lives were determined by the swift tilt of a finger; to the left death, to the right, life and work. Their possessions were taken from them, their families were torn apart, and the lives they once knew were to never be known again.
A young psychiatrist suffered this very fate. He was taken from his wife, he going to one camp while she to another. He had with him the clothes on his back, and his life’s work, a manuscript, which he cherished. He told his wife that this would be temporary, that they would see each other again. After all, he was a doctor and the Nazi’s surely had the need for doctors.
When he arrived, he had to give up his possessions. His manuscript, his life’s work, was all he refused to part with. He tried to convince one of the guards that he was a doctor, that he should be given the opportunity to keep the manuscript. The guard laughed and spit, telling him to keep moving.
When he asked other prisoners about a colleague and friend, the following exchange took place:
“Was he sent to the left side?”
“Yes.”
“Then you can see him there.”
“Where?”
The prisoner pointed in the direction of the camp to the left where a grey cloud of smoke flowed out from chimneys.
Imagine the horror of this moment. This is not fiction, this is the real-life account of a man learning of the fate of his colleague. The man tucked the manuscript into his coat and shuffled on. He would soon be stripped of all his clothes, his manuscript would eventually be discovered and taken from him, and he would be forced into the yard where he would perform manual labor for hours on end without rest, food, or water. He and his fellow prisoners would continue this, only to return back to their living quarters where they slept shoulder to shoulder on the cold ground, their collective bodies the only warmth they had.
“Fifteen hundred captives were cooped up in a shed built to accommodate probably two hundred at the most.”
As he stated of the prisoners:
“[those] who were still capable of some work, had to make use of every means to improve their chances of survival. They were not sentimental. The prisoners saw themselves completely dependent on the moods of the guards — playthings of fate — and this made them even less human than the circumstances warranted.”
Over the next several months, this man would suffer unimaginable hardships which included manual labor, starvation, and physical and mental anguish. He provides an unimaginable experience of a fellow prisoner:
“I shall never forget how I was roused one night by the groans of a fellow prisoner, who threw himself about in his sleep, obviously having horrible nightmare. Since I had always been especially sorry for people who suffered from fearful dreams or deliria, I wanted to wake the poor man. Suddenly I drew back the hand which was ready to shake him, frightened at the thing I was about to do. At that moment I became intensely conscious of the fact that no dream, no matter how horrible, could be as bad as the reality of the camp which surrounded us, and to which I was about to recall him.”
But even through all of this, through all the times where there was no end in sight, where his job was to move his deceased concentration camp prisoners to a new site, he found a way to survive, to continue on. As he states:
“The experiences of camp life show that man does have a choice of action… Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.”
We know of his story because he was one of the survivors of the Nazi concentration camps and wrote about the horrors in what is known today as Man’s Search for Meaning. Viktor Frankl, the famed founder of logotherapy, watched as his entire life changed in ways he couldn’t even imagine. Yet, through these horrific and unimaginable events, he survived, he pushed on, he understood that the choice he had was to stay alive or die. He chose life. As he states in Man’s Search for Meaning:
“For every one of the liberated prisoners, the day comes when, looking back on his camp experience, he can no longer understand how he endured it all. As the day of his liberation eventually came, when everything seemed to him like a beautiful dream, so also the day comes when all his camp experiences seem to him nothing but a nightmare.”
The majority of us will never know or experience the types of horrors that Frankl and his fellow prisoners experienced. The lessons Frankl provides in Man’s Search for Meaning, however, are applicable to each and every one of us, regardless of our lives. Accepting one’s fate, understanding what one controls, these are keys to facing fate, to triumphing over the impossible, to pushing on, even when there does not seem to be anywhere else to go.
“We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation — just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer — we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Keys to Accepting One’s Fate
Let us be clear, nothing contained herein speaks to being passive. On the contrary, accepting one’s fate and realizing the obstacle put in our way is there to aid us, if we so choose to see it this way. It is an active and assertive approach to life. It is the ability to silence that inner voice that tells you to quit, that depresses you about your own struggles and losses. But we can cultivate another voice, the voice that roars back and says, “No, thank you for these obstacles, thank you for the adversities you have thrown at me. I know they are hard, I know they are annoying, but I will overcome them and when I do, I will be stronger for them.”
Below are key strategies to help us be active in our fate and keep this growth mindset in mind.
Accept events as they are — Do not catastrophize
Catastrophizing an event is when we allow irrational fears to grow within our mind and become much bigger than the actual fear itself. It is taking a bad situation, and building that fear so big that you project it across time. For example, the thought of “I could lose my job” spirals into “I could never be employed again!”
We do not want to catastrophize the events which befall us in life. Catastrophizing, even in the simplest of ways, has reverberating repercussions to other aspects of our lives. When we catastrophize, we allow our mind to immediately cut off reality and go a million miles down the road of events which may or may not ever arrive. As Seneca once said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
Ways to Accept Events:
Have an Accountability Partner — Have someone close to you who can bring you back to reality. This person is there to help center you and your thoughts, remind you of the truth, and walk you back to the importance of the moment.
Understand the Event in Front of You — We must understand that there is the event, and then there are the value-judgments we place on the event. We must work to keep these in unison and see the event as clearly as we can without
Understand the Value-Judgments You are Applying — As stated above, we must know the value which we are placing on an event. Remember the things which you do and do not control, and relinquish that for which you cannot control.
Stay Present
If we’re present in our lives, it means we have control over the actions and tasks we perform. While we may not have full control over our fate and the actions of others, we do have control over ourselves which helps to tip the scales in our favor the more we stay present and focus on the control we do have over our lives.
Ways to Stay Present:
Understand Time is Fleeting — Time does not stop for anyone. It continues its marching pace indefinitely. By understanding this, it reminds us that we are here for a limited time and should make the most of this time. It could mean finding ways to be more productive in life and business, or simply setting aside time for friends and loved ones.
Embrace Each Action You Take — Embrace the actions you take as though they were your last. Each action performed can be approached from the angle of, “If this is the last task I ever perform, did I do it to the best of my ability?” Dedicate yourself to pouring all your energy into a single task at a time. Be proud of this accomplishment and allow that to carry you on into the next task. It will have a cascading effect once you get into the rhythm.
Learn to Pivot
Our ability to learn to pivot in a situation is critical to learning to embrace fate and yet still make the most of it. By pivoting, we encounter the situation and are quickly able to assess it and find a way to advance ourselves in it or change the situation to what is more beneficial for ourselves.
Key to Pivoting:
Understand the Entire Picture — The more we understand our situation and the world around us, the more we have a better sense for what can and cannot be achieved. The ability to see the landscape and know the players will help you determine your next move. Think of this as a game of chess. Successful chess players are not looking at the current move they’re made, they’re three or more moves ahead, calculating and anticipating what their opponent will do. When facing adversity, try to do the same and strategize for the future.
See the Adversity as an Opportunity for Growth
It is the obstacles that stand in our path and the adversities that we face that will build us into stronger, smarter individuals. Through difficult times, we understand how to overcome them, how best to react when things do not go our way, and when and why we need to exert more energy.
Keys to Seeing Adversity as Growth:
Embrace the Challenge — Like a boxer in the ring, we must stand before the obstacle or challenge and be ready for the fight. We know on rare occasions we will be able to quickly knock out the obstacle and overcome it, but for the majority of the time, we will be going head to head with that obstacle for twelve rounds, each round becoming harder and harder for us to keep our stamina and outlook up. But if we look at the obstacles in this way, if we see them as something which will build us, if we do not back down, we will learn and grow from the fight. We may not always win, we may be the one who’s knocked down, but we will learn, and this, while hard to swallow, is vital to success in the future.
Keep an Open Mindset — In order to grow, we must keep an open mindset. This means as we experience new things, new obstacles, new opportunities, we allow ourselves to be open to them, we embrace the moments we have because we know these will be opportunities for growth, to develop ourselves, to learn something we do not know or have not yet mastered.
Push to the Point of Being Uncomfortable, then Go Further — As Carol Dweck says in her book Mindset:
“People in a growth mindset don’t just seek challenge, they thrive on it. The bigger the challenge, the more they stretch.”
It is okay to be uncomfortable, this is where your growth will happen. If you are not learning and continuously growing, you are becoming comfortable and stagnant. Push outside your comfort zone, understand you’re not there to be comfortable, you’re there to challenge yourself and grow, and push on and experience the obstacle as fully as you can. You will learn more from these opportunities than anything else.
Remember, in order to live a virtuous life, you don’t need to be 30, 40, or even 50. You just need to begin. Living virtuously means living in accordance with the Four Cardinal Virtues of Stoicism, namely, Prudence (the practical wisdom we apply to our lives) Justice (the ability to be moral in our actions), Temperance (our control over our own actions), and Fortitude (the courage we display to life’s adversities). These are all within our power to master and can be done at any point in one’s life. Living a good life is not defined by age or experience, but by the actions we take each and every day.
Begin right now to live virtuously.
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