Finding the Master
The importance and impact of mentor-mentee relations
Mind Candy is a newsletter on practical philosophy and human flourishment—aka how to live the “the good life.” Each month we tackle a new theme.
This month we’re exploring relationships.
“One repays a teacher badly if one remains only a pupil.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
Mastery
One of the greatest advantages one can find for themselves in life is that of the mentor-mentee relationship.
While apprenticing in the strictest sense no longer exists in most professions as it once did, the mentor-mentee relationship is still very much alive and is developed from one’s passion and determination in a certain career path.
When we’re starting out in our careers, we’re very new to the working world, let alone the career path we plan to pursue. Yet in any path one decides to go down, they will find others who too had previously been in their shoes, learned hard lessons, and overcame the learning curves.
One of the greatest assets a mentor can provide is helping to teach the mentee how to save time—what to focus on, what to avoid, and how to achieve success.
This is so critical to early development in one’s career because to be mentored by someone seasoned in an area is, as Robert Greene it, “the most efficient and productive form of learning” and this is exactly what those early years in a career are—dedicating oneself to learning the craft they have embarked on.
“Without any guidance, you can waste valuable years trying to gain knowledge and practice from various sources. Instead, you must follow the example set by Masters throughout the ages and find the proper mentor.”
Finding a Mentor
Finding a mentor that fits your needs is the first crucial step in advancing your career.
Not everyone will be willing to teach you. Plenty of people are generous with their time and knowledge in quick bites but an apprenticeship is different, it’s getting to see someone work closeup. It provides the mentee an opportunity to study at the hands of someone who knows their craft and has spent years, likely decades, honing it.
Once you find someone who possesses and demonstrate the knowledge you wish to achieve, the next step is convincing them to let you learn from them. Sometimes this is through a paid job, other times it is free labor.
The key is convincing them you have something—anything—that would be of use to them.
Some commonalities amongst successful mentees:
Hard working
Takes direction well
Looks for opportunities to help
Understands no assignment is too big or too small
Understands that ‘dues’ is another word for learning
Being able to find that thing that separates you from others, that would be of value to the mentor, is crucial in convincing them to allow you to learn from them. Being a hard worker isn’t enough. What is unique about you that others don’t have?
Finding Success in the Mentor-Mentee Dynamic
Be passionate about your pursuits: if someone is going to take the time to mentor you, even in an informal way, they want to know they’re not wasting their time. They won’t want to divulge their life’s learnings to someone who is just going to hop jobs or careers. Being committed and passionate about your path, and your work for them, shows that you are looking at the long game.
Remember the roles: In today’s society it is cool to be contrarian for contrarian’s sake. But this lacks intelligence and is an inflated ego. When dealing with someone who could be or will be your mentor, remember you are a sponge to their knowledge. While you may have valuable information or insight into a topic, leave it until it’s appropriate to discuss. They are the experienced one and you the mentee. With time and proof, you will be given opportunities to provide your knowledge and opinion. Humility is key.
Anticipate their needs: If given the opportunity to work with a mentor, your job is to help them and in the process learn. It is first about helping them, and second about you learning. A key to standout is to help anticipate their needs, especially when they are busy and don’t have time to do everything. Understand their patterns and how they work. With strong focus and a little observation, you can quickly learn what the mentor needs and when—this is your time to shine, show them you understand the task and their needs and provide the support they require before they require it.
“Try to see the world through their eyes and ask the simple question of what it is they need most,” writes Greene. “Keeping their self-interest involved will only enhance any emotional connection they feel toward you.”
Be a Sponge: Not everything will be glorious. One of the keys to becoming a master in any field is spending countless hours working on things that aren’t fun, learning the craft, putting in the work to understanding what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes it is not so much about being told how one should do a task but rather observing how the master does it.
The Heart of the Mentor-Mentee Dynamic
It’s a relationship.
It may be professional, it may be paid or unpaid, it may be virtual or in person.
At the heart of all mentor-mentee dynamics is a relationship between two individuals. One who wants to learn and better themselves and the other wanting to impart their learned life lessons on someone who wants to success.
We all want to leave a mark on the world and some of us will be lucky enough to do so in big ways. But for the vast majority of us, we will leave our marks not in some grand product we create or company we found, instead it will be through the relationships we form—the people we help, how we make them feel, and how we help propel them as the next generation.
The mentor-mentee relationship is the perfect embodiment of this as it assists in transferring skills and knowledge of one generation to the next. Valuable lessons that sometimes can only be learned on the job, in the trenches, working at the craft.
Until next time,
D.A. DiGerolamo
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.