Mind Candy is a newsletter on practical philosophy—ideas meant to be lived. Each month, we explore a new theme and examine what it demands of our lives.
Last month we explored the theme of adaptability.
Introduction to Monthly Theme
“Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
We can only prepare for so long, eventually, life requires we dive in.
We can work to restrain ourselves, or work with our emotions, or even adapt to changing situations.
But there’s a gap we often forget to close: our understanding of how we should live, and how we actually do.
We can know right from wrong and still not do the correct thing.
We can hold high standards and lower them when convenient.
We can work real hard—so long as someone is watching.
Integrity doesn’t live in the big moments but in the tiny decisions made every day.
Every time we act against the standard we’ve set, we chip away at who we could become.
This month, we’re exploring how we close that gap between thought and action. It is only through living in alignment, can we truly be able to build a sustainable character.
There’s good reason Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations are read 2,000 years after being written.
It’s not because he is prophesying, or has everything figured out. The work was not even meant for broad consumption.
The book is a record of a man struggling to to correct himself. Not once or twice, but as a daily practice.
It’s a personal journal—a mental gym of sorts—of a man trying to align himself.
In other words, Marcus was trying to truly live the philosophy he had been trained in. Not to learn what is right, but to live it.
“If anyone can refute me—show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective—I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance.”
One of the first things Marcus does in the Meditations is thank his grandfather, Marcus Annius Verus, for teaching him integrity. Not as theory but as practice.
Verus was himself not a teacher but practitioner. He was consul three times, one of the highest elected positions in Rome, as well as City Prefect, the highest civil administrator. Marcus observed, studied, and understood what it meant to hold power while also remaining disciplined, and staying true to oneself.
Integrity is not a belief but something we must prove, not just today but every day, through our actions. It is not glorious. No one comes to us and tells us good job. It is a solitary pursuit, done without fanfare or recognition.
But what it returns is character, someone who stands true to their word.
We like to think we have integrity. That what we say we do, that we stay true to our principles in all scenarios. That we are aligned between thought and action.
But most of us don’t examine ourselves enough to truly see the truth.
We say we’ll do something and then we don’t. We avoid the conversation we know we should have. Given two options we choose the easier path, not for any reason other than we simply are tired and don’t want to put in the extra effort.
And nothing happens.
No one calls us out, holds us accountable, or asks us to atone. These are little things we do, things we know in our heart to be wrong.
And so we do them again.
And again.
The problem is now that we’ve done them once, or twice, they’ve become habit. And with that, our integrity whittles away.
Not all at once. There often isn’t some big event that does it. Just little chips over time until suddenly, we’re just not the person we thought we were.
What we miss, or perhaps forget, in all of this is that every action we take is a vote towards or away from the person we want to be. Repeat the wrong decision enough times and before you know it our mind no longer feels the friction it once did—that voice inside saying maybe this isn’t the best decision to follow through on.
In the end, it is a recalibration of our mind and its expectation of who we are.
The real cost is not getting caught, it’s that we lose faith in ourselves. We allow habit to dictate our future path rather than the expectant version of ourselves we once believed in.
Marcus reminded himself in the Meditations, “To stand up straight—not be straightened.”
Only we can truly enforce the standards of our lives. Only we can ensure we hold our integrity to the highest standards.
It’s not about being perfect—none of us are. But it is about refusing to give in, to negotiate, to allow that voice to tell you to take the easy route.
It’s worth remembering, our actions are a vote for who we will become.
Thought to Carry this Week
You know what right from wrong is.
But do you recognize when you’re cheating yourself?
Before you go…
If you enjoyed the above article, you may be interested in the following to continue your exploration:
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Until next time,
D.A. DiGerolamo
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