A Stadium of Influence
Re-examining the purpose driven life
Mind Candy is a newsletter on practical philosophy and human flourishment—aka how to live the “the good life.” Each month we tackle a new theme.
This month we’re exploring the question of existentialism.
You can leave life right now Marcus Aurelius once chided himself, use that as a way to determine your actions and thoughts.
Coming to terms with our own mortality is only the first step determining how we act with the time we have allotted.
Much of culture over the last 100 years has put a heavy focus on the individual— what will I be, what do I want, what is my purpose.
And these are deep questions. They often shift over time as one grows or experiences more in life.
But these are also stressful questions, trying to figure out what one is meant for in the world, all the while a clock ticking down. Questions like ‘am I doing enough with my time?’ ‘Am I moving in the right direction?’ ‘How much time remains?’ always swirling about.
For some, purpose comes naturally, they for some reason or another have always known what they were meant to do. But for others, it is a challenge. Not because they’re not good at anything or they are not of use, rather, because it is an immense weight to carry—the pressure of time compounded by the pressure of figuring out what the hell you’re here to do.
On a recent episode of the Tim Ferriss Show, author
gave a perfect example of how we may be approaching purpose wrong. Rather than these large overarching themes, perhaps purpose is as small as helping a stranger.Gilbert was in Venice when she saw a man on a ladder painting. The ladder didn’t look too sturdy and having grown up with a father constantly struggling to maintain his balance on the ladder, she proceeded to go over and hold the ladder for the man—for 45 minutes.
The man never knew she was there watching out over him and ensuring the ladder was sturdy. When he was done and started coming down, she quickly just slipped away down the street.
As she told Ferriss, was that her purpose? To hold the ladder for the man? Maybe she was needed at that exact moment in time to ensure he was okay. Maybe everything in her life—the way she was raised, her father on ladders, etc.—was leading her to that exact moment so she could help this man and ensure he didn’t fall and break his neck.
To avoid the pressure of the “purpose” driven life and remove oneself from the pressure of figuring it all out, perhaps reframing purpose to “influence” is the proper course.
Influence is something we have control over. Influence is about something more than the self, it, by its nature, requires others to be involved. Influence has the ability to move people, to change their lives, to make them think differently.
According to leadership author Tommy Spaulding, he once heard his friend and mentor Jon Gordon state a statistic that changed his life—the average individual will influence 80,000 people within their lifetime.
We will have 80,000 encounters—roughly 2.8 people daily—within our lives that go positively or negatively for others based upon how we show up in those moments.
Spaulding likes to put this into imagery for better context—imagine you’re in a stadium, he says, and it can be any stadium you want. This is your stadium. And the crowd that is there are your 80,000 people you will influence throughout your life. Some are there cheering you on because you had a positive influence in their life, others are booing, and some are trying to determine you and your impact on them.
Instead of a purpose driven life, we can think about life as an influence driven one. How am I going to show up in my interactions today? How am I going to make people feel? What can I do with my actions to make others feel a certain way?
It’s okay if you’re not here to cure cancer, or write a best-selling novel, or end world hunger. But perhaps you’re still here to pursue things like that, and in the process, influence some people.
This is what Marcus Aurelius meant when he said when you wake up in the morning, remember who you will encounter. Or the obstacle is the way. These are opportunities for us—opportunities to practice virtue, to practice patience, with ourselves and others—opportunities to influence others in an appropriate way.
So if the pressure of purpose is too much, if it sends you into an existential spiral of never knowing what you’re here for, maybe take a step back and instead think of your stadium and what you’re doing for the people in it.
You never know where it’ll lead you.
Until next time,
D.A. DiGerolamo
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